If you pronounce ‘Meijers’ with a ‘J’ sound in the middle, and the number of days that you have been in USA can be counted on your finger tips. Welcome to the group FOOAB (Fresh out of a boat). We are either sent by our companies to work for interim time or here to pursue higher studies. Whatever the reason, we have many traits in common and our experiences are also similar. I illustrate some incidences. I am sure if a fellow FOOAB is reading he/she will be able to relate to them, if a NON- FOOAB is reading then just have fun at our expense.
It all starts with the landing of the flight on the runway. After wasting precious 14 hrs of your life on lousy movies and even lousier food, the flight stewardess welcomes you to United States of America in the most sugar coated and honey dipped voice. As if the journey was not long enough you have to wait in the plane aisle, then in the immigration queue and then at the baggage claim. When your legs start giving up and your body just wants to melt away from the discomfort your bag arrives. It is the biggest, the heaviest and you have no one to help. With extensive participation in heavy weight lifting, you head for your destination, a motel which apparently was showcased as the most luxurious and extravagant stay on the internet, suddenly is the most inconvenient and horrible place to live.
You are clueless where to go for as simple a thing as your breakfast. If you thought your English was perfecto, the illusion fades away soon when you have to comprehend the colloquial words and the regional accents spoken at the speed faster than light. Sometimes you just nod your head in affirmation when the guy at the counter maybe inquiring about something. Once in the room as a true Indian you scan the entire room and pick all the gadgets, read everything written on them, even the voltages that the product is susceptible to. With this extensive research and a Wendy’s half cooked, eaten in haste burger in stomach you fall off to sleep.
From next morning the tenacious efforts to get settled begins. Amidst this home sickness starts showing its symptoms. A calling card becomes the only suitable medicine to nip it in the bud. The family is contacted and zillion important numbers are exchanged, to be used incase of emergency. You cut the phone happy and relieved. The brain calculating the phone bill. Multiply with 40 no wait dollar is now I think 49 oh Crap!! That is tough calculation hmm!! Approximately guess its 300 spent on the call nothing in front of having a word with the family, will save from the next time. Saving!! Baby this is just the beginning, saving never happens. Murphy’s Law plays on you, you start swiping your card faster than the local colloquial speech. Next in agenda you head start for a venture that has been termed as ‘Apartment Hunting’. Thanks to the internet you have an idea where do you want to go. You navigate the cab thru almost empty roads, while the thought is building in your mind how come the roads are empty. The cab driver suddenly says. Damit! The Traffic!
After a smooth drive you reach the leasing office where the lady awaits you with your lease agreement. Her mood is that of a person high on Coke, extra chirpiness for no rhyme or reason. She will welcome you to the neighborhood as if you are a war hero returning after a victory. You will be told all the housing laws the apartment complex has in two minutes. While you will be contemplating asking a doubt for the second law Olalla!! She will be on the 100th. Then the prized moment will arrive she will hand you over the keys. The keys are not one or two but a bunch. The first time you enter the apartment you will be trying all the permutations to get the correct key for the correct lock. Believe me all through your tenure you will never be able to get success in the first try. Next, you play with the check list. Initial grocery done. Essential household gizmos bought. Cable guy came and installed the internet. Suitcase filled with ready to cook, pulses, rice and masalas opened and set. Ultimately Maggi 2 minutes cooked and eaten.
Then at work you do the paper work and send faxes all over informing your arrival. The feeling creeps in, let me just get my arrival published in a daily newspaper will save time and resources. A colleague of yours enters. He/She tells you 1000 things more to be done to achieve the ‘Settled’ tag. Nittie Grittie are told and scribbled by you. Bank account is opened, SSN docs submitted, License book bought (Oh my lord!! So much to study it is just driving! I have been doing it for years). Subsequent weeks are spent getting important things in place. U haul being rented to get in the furniture, Heavy heavier completely outrageous stuff carried and walked for more than a mile. With mind pondering why didn’t I try for heavy weight lifting? I am good at it. Craig list site checked every single day to find a good car, oh chuck it! Let me check out the new deals on circuit city. Finally you take a deep breath, you have settled here. You are now acquainted with the slangs, restraunts, stores, brands. You have done it on your own. Confidence level rises, you become I can face any situation kind. The fresh out of boat that you were, is finally well versed with the new land.
It all starts with the landing of the flight on the runway. After wasting precious 14 hrs of your life on lousy movies and even lousier food, the flight stewardess welcomes you to United States of America in the most sugar coated and honey dipped voice. As if the journey was not long enough you have to wait in the plane aisle, then in the immigration queue and then at the baggage claim. When your legs start giving up and your body just wants to melt away from the discomfort your bag arrives. It is the biggest, the heaviest and you have no one to help. With extensive participation in heavy weight lifting, you head for your destination, a motel which apparently was showcased as the most luxurious and extravagant stay on the internet, suddenly is the most inconvenient and horrible place to live.
You are clueless where to go for as simple a thing as your breakfast. If you thought your English was perfecto, the illusion fades away soon when you have to comprehend the colloquial words and the regional accents spoken at the speed faster than light. Sometimes you just nod your head in affirmation when the guy at the counter maybe inquiring about something. Once in the room as a true Indian you scan the entire room and pick all the gadgets, read everything written on them, even the voltages that the product is susceptible to. With this extensive research and a Wendy’s half cooked, eaten in haste burger in stomach you fall off to sleep.
From next morning the tenacious efforts to get settled begins. Amidst this home sickness starts showing its symptoms. A calling card becomes the only suitable medicine to nip it in the bud. The family is contacted and zillion important numbers are exchanged, to be used incase of emergency. You cut the phone happy and relieved. The brain calculating the phone bill. Multiply with 40 no wait dollar is now I think 49 oh Crap!! That is tough calculation hmm!! Approximately guess its 300 spent on the call nothing in front of having a word with the family, will save from the next time. Saving!! Baby this is just the beginning, saving never happens. Murphy’s Law plays on you, you start swiping your card faster than the local colloquial speech. Next in agenda you head start for a venture that has been termed as ‘Apartment Hunting’. Thanks to the internet you have an idea where do you want to go. You navigate the cab thru almost empty roads, while the thought is building in your mind how come the roads are empty. The cab driver suddenly says. Damit! The Traffic!
After a smooth drive you reach the leasing office where the lady awaits you with your lease agreement. Her mood is that of a person high on Coke, extra chirpiness for no rhyme or reason. She will welcome you to the neighborhood as if you are a war hero returning after a victory. You will be told all the housing laws the apartment complex has in two minutes. While you will be contemplating asking a doubt for the second law Olalla!! She will be on the 100th. Then the prized moment will arrive she will hand you over the keys. The keys are not one or two but a bunch. The first time you enter the apartment you will be trying all the permutations to get the correct key for the correct lock. Believe me all through your tenure you will never be able to get success in the first try. Next, you play with the check list. Initial grocery done. Essential household gizmos bought. Cable guy came and installed the internet. Suitcase filled with ready to cook, pulses, rice and masalas opened and set. Ultimately Maggi 2 minutes cooked and eaten.
Then at work you do the paper work and send faxes all over informing your arrival. The feeling creeps in, let me just get my arrival published in a daily newspaper will save time and resources. A colleague of yours enters. He/She tells you 1000 things more to be done to achieve the ‘Settled’ tag. Nittie Grittie are told and scribbled by you. Bank account is opened, SSN docs submitted, License book bought (Oh my lord!! So much to study it is just driving! I have been doing it for years). Subsequent weeks are spent getting important things in place. U haul being rented to get in the furniture, Heavy heavier completely outrageous stuff carried and walked for more than a mile. With mind pondering why didn’t I try for heavy weight lifting? I am good at it. Craig list site checked every single day to find a good car, oh chuck it! Let me check out the new deals on circuit city. Finally you take a deep breath, you have settled here. You are now acquainted with the slangs, restraunts, stores, brands. You have done it on your own. Confidence level rises, you become I can face any situation kind. The fresh out of boat that you were, is finally well versed with the new land.
