My Big 'Fat' Indian Wedding with all very 'Thin'

As the wedding approaches, Thanks to both the families revenue is generated for many cities. The ‘sareewala’ is happy, the jeweler is all smiles, the tailor has tremendous workload and critical deadlines to meet and the printing press has a bulk order of many cards to print. Amidst this, the last laugh is by the fitness and health centers all over the world (at least parts of the world where our family and friends reside). Welcome to my wedding preparations, where loosing those extra inches seems equally important as buying a new saree. Flat tummy holds more appreciation then a Versace suit and toned legs are admired more than the pointed stilettos. So while few are flexing their muscles in the gym, some are shaking a leg or two in their Zumba classes. Couple of them prefer yoga for the mind body and soul, some like to match up to the steps of Shilpa Shetty and her power yoga while many prefer the morning walk and the cool breeze. The groom and the bride are also not spared, specific circuits are given to both the aim to loose few inches here and to gain a few there. Oil and ghee and cheese are being avoided like plague, while fruits and green leafy vegetables are being embraced. K serial is the new munching snack and luke warm water is replacing cocktails and mocktails. The net result is astounding; the flabs have beautifully changed to six pack abs. The mother of two is now the ‘sexy’ mother of two. The 40+ women easily fit into their old wedding lehengas. The ‘XL’ shirt sizes are being miraculously replaced by the magic letter ‘S’. All the new mummies are flaunting their flat tummies. The friend with puppy fat is the new babe in town and glowing skin seems to simply run in the genes. I don’t know will the fitness regimes last after the first dawn post my wedding but one thing is for sure all shall surely relish the culinary delights of an Indian wedding without the guilt pangs.

Who Stole The Cookie from the Cookies Jar?

Chorus : Who stole the cookie from the cookies jar ?

Miss Z : I think it is Miss X Madam.

Miss X : I Madam.

Chorus : Yes Madam.

Miss X : No Madam.

Chorus : Then who do you think Madam ?

Miss X : I think it is Miss Y Madam.

Miss Y : I Madam.

Chorus : Yes Madam.

Miss Y : No Madam.

Chorus : Then who do you think Madam ?

Miss Y : I think it is Miss G Madam.

…………….

………………………………

This iteration I recited with a group of my girlfriends while waiting for the school bus with clapping of hands and snapping of fingers giving the required rhythm.

The idea was simple, a hypothetical cookie jar had a missing cookie and everyone was questioning who stole it. When someone was suspected, she instantaneously defended herself by suspecting someone else and the game endlessly continued with the mystery of the thief still lingering on. The mystery died its own death with the arrival of the bus. Ironic enough the game was subtly teaching a very wrong practice of our society – The Blame Game. Anytime something goes wrong or just looses track simply all stand up and start playing this game, where the idea is to save oneself and put the blame on another. The output is plenty of hue and cries, but alas no consensus result. The problem is forgotten with some damages, faulty and quick repairs and life moves on. CWG fiasco, Bhopal Gas Tragedy are some examples which came into limelight of this dirty game we play. Not only in such large canvass but this blame game comes into existence in mundane times too. Rarely do we see someone standing up and taking the onus of the problem and pledging to resolve it. Errors are a part and parcel of life, after all to ‘Err is Human’. Ideally problems should be repaired at an early stage and not left to accumulate and cause havoc. In the non – ideal world that we live in alas! This is not the norm. The problem comes it is neglected and kept hidden from others. Such petty neglected problems build up and their ripples start showing it is then when the favorite game of mankind is played - blaming others and proving one innocent. If we enjoy taking the credit of a triumph we should also be responsible enough to suffer the travail of a nuisance. Washing dirty linen during crisis may be satisfactory for one’s ego but doesn’t really lead to any satisfactory result. I hope in times to come little girls round up to play this game but with some alteration as in

Chorus : Who stole the cookie from the cookies jar ?

Miss Z : I think it is Miss X Madam.

Miss X : I Madam.

Chorus : Yes Madam.

Miss X : No Madam.

Chorus : Then who do you think Madam?

Miss X : Forget the thief lets get together and bake the missing cookie Madam.

A Tale of Two Cities

Never the latitudes and the longitudes played a pivotal role in my life. For me, they were just another lesson in my elementary geography course. Learnt one day, poured in the paper the next day and forgotten later on. My change in relationship status from single to committed has made me suddenly more aware of the global time zones and the technicalities involved in trying to talk to someone on a different time zone. The process that I followed earlier to see what time it is has few more additional steps. I subtract 4.5 hrs from the current Indian time and mentally figure if the daylight saving has started or not in London.

I have realized, it is not political boundaries nor race neither religion nor culture that divide the world but the segregation is according to the time one follows. It is the world of ESTians, CSTians, ISTians , GMTians etc. People in the same time zone follow the same routine. They wake up approximately at the same time, their work hours are almost parallel and their leisure time coincides with each other. An alliance among people in the same time zone set is the most convenient, easiest and beautiful one. The trouble is for those who are from two different sets trying to make their courtship as memorable as can be. I am in the latter category who would like to modify the line ‘Distance makes heart go fonder’ to ‘Distance makes connecting with one another longer’.

The communication more seems like the one we experimented as kids, with two cans attached to one another with a string. The excitement is the same, as the kid at each end experiences just the difference is that the string is the internet the two cans are my ThinkPad and his Mac respectively. The glitches faced to connect are paramount, or they seem to be. When the free time coincides, the internet slows down, if the net is fast, a sudden power failure happens. Each glitch acts as the new age villain for us. Skype seems the only savior amongst the baddies. I am sure the idea to have a technology like Skype must have germinated in the mind of those who were in the same boat as me.

Time Zones, not only act as deterrents for two people in love but also as the world goes flatter in terms of work and the concept of cloud computing steps in, arranging a meeting when the team is widely distributed around the globe can be havoc for the chairperson. Picture this, how to coordinate the perfect time for people to meet on a web conference when one sits in Australia, the other in India, one in UK and one somewhere in USA. So mostly in such web conference you have a chirpy person about to start the day, a drowsy individual fighting the mid afternoon siesta and a tired person waiting to call it a day. I am unaware how to rectify the problem. A remedial solution does not seem to be there, as hampering of earth’s rotation is still not viable. The only thing I can tell my sweetheart is no matter what, lets just ‘Stay Connected’.

When will we decide to kill the Raavan inside us?

If a new movie comes to theatres, I would watch it on the subsequent Saturday. More than a hobby, it has become a ritual for me. Not going by what the critics have to say, or the ratings the film receives. I am there to watch it and form my own opinion on it. Sometimes, its worth the money spent and sometimes, it is a pinch for every penny spent.

Recently, I saw two movies Rajneeti and Ravaan and found a striking similarity. Both have been inspired by India’s two great epics Mahabharata and Ramayana respectively. Both bring in the essence of these stories in today’s world. This leads to an amazing realization, over the ages in our dynamic and ever-changing world, one thing has remained static - The Human Nature.

In every era, people have shown traits of Ram or impersonated Ravan. Amidst us, there is always a power hungry Duryodhan and an ever plotting Shakuni, a helping friend like Karan, a righteous man like Yudhishthar. The silent suffering Sita and the emancipated Draupadi walk in tandem in our society. Like the predicament, Arjun faced in the battlefield of Mahabharata, we all have our shares of testing times and we all have a mentor like Krishna to give us solace.

For centuries, these epics have been recited in various forms and are an integral part of our society and culture. Thanks to BR Chopra and Ramanand Sagar, we all have these epics in our memory cell scene by scene, episode by episode. We all know that while Ramayana showcases an ideal life, Mahabharata on the other hand shows how to perform ideal actions in not so ideal circumstances.

Yet it is a pity, we have still not been able to imbibe the values and morals the two highlight in totality. The entire crowd gives a standing ovation when Ram’s arrow hits Ravan’s naval at the Ramleela grounds, but we are yet to kill the Ravan inside us. We all despise Dushasan for insulting Draupadi and ill-treating her, but how many Dushasan go scot free in our society after committing horrendous crimes against women. We admire the words of wisdom quoted in these texts but fail to implement them in our lives. I think it high time instead of applauding various narrations of Ramayana and Mahabharata we should start absorbing the lessons they teach.